Well, I've been browsing about Xanga and all I can say is

WOW.. deep..

For the most part, and from what I can see, Xanga has become pretty intense. I see a lot of people releasing emotions and venting about family matters, hubby hunting, school, and just general reflections of life. However, compared to when I was last here, everything is much more.. deep! Well, it's good to see people finding an outlet to let off some steam and to just be themselves and speak their minds. Keeping problems pent up can cause so much pain and heartache, it's better to vent. Just let blog it all out.

So what about me? I've totally been MIA. Graduated, got hitched, went up to Canada for a little to try out this madrasa thing- total failure. The people and administration were all loopy, but I love them all so much =) [This is an entire topic worthy of a book]

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So I've been married since May '06, though it seems so much longer. I love my husband so much, it amazes me how we're so similar yet so different- all at the same time. He means so much to me, and I would never do anything to hurt him. Here's the thing though, subhanAllah... I never thought this would happen... after everything he does for me and how good he is to me, he deserves to be my number one. I mean come on, he's my husband. But there's just this one dude... I never imagined such feelings like this could ever come about.

I haven't even known him for long and we don't even talk that much (we can't really do that of course) but I'm just so into him. I know I shouldn't be speaking like this, but in my heart I know the truth- I may love him more than my husband. Even when I'm with my husband, I can't stop thinking about *him*. Okay, I know I make him sound like Mr. Perfect, but we all know no one is. He makes it so easy to forgive him though, but when he's not being a bother, he's the sweetest person ever.

I've known him since about this time last year, but I only would talk to him. We later met in November, and the day I met him just validated his being and allowed me to learn more about him through seeing him in person. It's just everything about him... he's so good looking; okay he IS beardless, but I can get that to change with time. His smile is just gorgeous. I love his sense of style and the way he dresses. Overall, he's just easy going and a simple person; simplicity is what I love best and I myself am simple.

My husband speculated something way at the beginning. But what was I supposed to say? How was I supposed to even tell him? I didn't know how he would react to such news. He kept pushing the issue but I kept on denying his existance. But now with him around... I think it's starting to become obvious. Even before I actually met him, I know my husband detected there was someone else. When you love someone, you act totally different. If it wasn't true love, it wouldn't show on you so obviously; a person wouldn't be able to so easily tell you were up to something. So of course my love for him started before I met him, it started when he was in the womb.

DOIIII! Come on, you know I'm not like that.. !

Allah has revealed the most beautiful message, a Book consistent in its verses yet repeating its teachings in different ways. Those who fear their Lord are filled with awe when they hear it, their skins and their hearts become pliant to the remembrance of Allah. Such is the guidance of Allah: He guides with it whom He pleases. But he to whom He confounds shall have none to guide him. [39.23]